This is pretty much a post that I will come back to when he is 5 and be like wow you did good kid! First and foremost Breastfeeding has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. Comparing that to running full marathons and having Miles. There are so many power struggles with it. One minute things are going well then the next minute I could throw in the towel at any minute. I had a friend come over and see Miles the other day and she has a 6 month old. Her daughter was acting hunger and whipped up a bottle just like that. I looked at her with envy because breastfeeding my child takes 45 minutes sometimes. Between feeding on one breast, burp him, change his diaper, offer the other breast, burp again, make sure he sits up for 10 minutes so we dont have reflux, and get him to sleep or play. By no means am I complaining that this natural thing that my body allows me to do. Just expressing what your mind goes thru the early moments of breastfeeding. You want to do what is best for your child and heck your budget in this dang economy. The other day someone said heck breast milk isn't just liquid gold so is formula.
I think the hardest thing about breastfeeding truly is one not knowing how much your child is getting, when they are moving so much and wont get latched on, and that you are the only one that can feed him. Ive been pumping like a mad women so my hubby can give him a bottle a least once a day because when I go back to work at the end of April he will be able to feed him too. Miles will throw up a whole feeding and it will totally put me in a bad mood. All that hard work for a baby with a empty stomach. By far the most frustrating is when he is trying to latch on his arms are all over the place fighting with my boobs. I'm working on trying to make myself think its funny so I don't get so frustrated. Its starting to work. I truly believe he can tell when I get frustrated. So in the end breastfeeding is what you make of it. It truly is a process and do believe when people tell you if you can get thru the first few months of it you are in the clear. At times I have thought about just pumping and bottle feeding him. But Im not gonna let this defeat me!!!
On another note bladder incontinence sucks. Poise pads are my friend!! I started running again because I signed up for a half marathon June 10th I think it is. My first mile out I peed myself the whole way. So in my mind I was like ok just need to do more kegel exercises and it will get better. So I busted out the kegels everyday for the next 5 days before jumping back on the horse and doing it again. This time I tried a mile again. I got to about a quarter of a mile and bam it happened again. I had placed a panty liner in this time and that thing did not help me one bit. Looked like I had one very sweaty crotch. On my last run I did two miles and didnt start having issues til a half mile. By the time I got back home I had pee half way down my legs. Cues the sadness of wanting my old body back. I walked in the door and started crying to John telling him I was depressed. For those that dont understand running is my zen. It is what keeps me sane and a happy Crissy. Ive counted the day since I got pregnant that I would be able to run again. It truly is my depression medication. So for that to be all jacked up I started freaking out. Worried I was gonna ruin my bladder trying to run and cause bladder prolapse or something goofy like that. After talking to a few moms they told me that this is normal and it will get better. So happy to know that because I seriously think I would be going into a state of depression if this is what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life. But no matter what when I see my handsome little man it was and is all worth it. I will pee my crotch for the rest of my life if it means I get to love on Miles!!!
Feels good to get that all off my chest!! So since you have read all that I have to share some pictures. Miles is 12lbs by our scales at home now. He is growing so fast and today he rolled over during tummy time.